dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
