And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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