oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Is it because I queefed?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Why is there bacon in the couch?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
