we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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