it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I have aggressive nipples.
not ubering you a puppy
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
