What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Randomize
