Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
