I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
