So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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