they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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