You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
either way he was missing a nipple.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
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