I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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