There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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