White coat. Heels.
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
