Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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