she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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