is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Randomize
