sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
You can't motorboat a personality
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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