puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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