I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
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You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
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Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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