Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
They have beer where we have blood.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Randomize
