Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
