Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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