I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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