Moan for me like Helen Keller
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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