Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
