dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
