WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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