i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
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You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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