I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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