Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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