I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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