the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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