Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
