Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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