Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  After last night, I could never be a politician.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): After last night, I could never be a politician. http://tfl.nu/69mb
  Replies (11) Good night (1398) Bad night (603)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk http://tfl.nu/cgrv
  Replies (5) Good night (2593) Bad night (780)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.

  (1-512): View more from Texas

  Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all. (1-512): Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply http://tfl.nu/mzzt
  Replies (7) Good night (789) Bad night (1429)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit! http://tfl.nu/d8vz
  Replies (9) Good night (759) Bad night (3330)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (647): You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep http://tfl.nu/2p4s
  Replies (17) Good night (5706) Bad night (1080)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (601): There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore. http://tfl.nu/nmw7
  Replies (7) Good night (3285) Bad night (1800)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (902): New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever . http://tfl.nu/6kwm
  Replies (6) Good night (2996) Bad night (1264)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn. http://tfl.nu/ws8z
  Replies (8) Good night (2826) Bad night (1107)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (719): I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm. http://tfl.nu/n4fu
  Replies (13) Good night (1535) Bad night (1365)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him http://tfl.nu/j1cu
  Replies (4) Good night (1121) Bad night (504)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet. http://tfl.nu/uizc
  Replies (16) Good night (3071) Bad night (679)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk http://tfl.nu/6hfb
  Replies (1) Good night (580) Bad night (373)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower http://tfl.nu/znp7
  Replies (1) Good night (425) Bad night (349)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (218): Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them! http://tfl.nu/cqdf
  Replies (1) Good night (827) Bad night (468)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (918): Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling? http://tfl.nu/vrr8
  Replies (3) Good night (374) Bad night (171)

Randomize