There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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