please come you make the beer taste better
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
When are your genitals available?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
