Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
All the doctor said was why
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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