I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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