a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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