I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
