Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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