you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Randomize