ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Sorry my hands just texted you
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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