I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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