Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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