Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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