i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
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I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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