He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
