He uses pillows to masturbate.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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