i can't believe i had my finger in that
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
