I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
