the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Just puked most of my soul out..
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