Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
