so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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