Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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