we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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